19
Jun
08

Daddy, Where Art Thou?

Dear Dad,

I missed you so much. Between the lines of “I hate you for abandoning
me” and “You jerk, leaving your family like this” yes, I do miss you so much.

Just want to say Happy Father’s Day in a common ways, where son meet up with
their father after so many years apart. Exchanging stories about how regular
life has become, sport teams that does sucks last year or just hanging with
their son and daughters between TV episodes on the couch while their mother
prepare some beers and homemade cookies.

Has this life become a dream so vast I couldn’t have it in my small
hands? Or is it me left behind from the train that supposed to take me..well…I
dunno, somewhere real? I never knew my parents, how they look like, what their
jobs are, what is their favorite food and fragrance, or even know their names.
I’m one of those apples that accidentally fall down the hill far from its tree.

Not making this dramatic, but I just couldn’t lie to myself how I
missed my parents love and touch. Imagining them by my side every Christmas is
shit, I’m telling you. Were those real? I don’t know anymore what is real.
What’s real for me is I gotta work my ass off to support myselDaddy_i_miss_uf day to day in
this city.
I have my own dreams to fulfill, I have my own train to catch and
for sure that ain’t easy but I know I can do it.

Its Father’s Day as I take a peek on my desk calendar. I smiled a
little, feeling empty and awkward for celebrating something without anyone to
celebrate for.
Imagining whether my dad is a rich folk with two separate tennis
court and a gold fish pond but filled with imitation fish made of gold. Or is
he a professor from a reputable University in London carrying whip lash on his
waist. Or maybe he’s a regular father with one of those Toyota car from early
2000 with a cat and two wives, one of them is pregnant of their 8th
daughter. Things could happen after 24 years and I never hope for anything, coz
most of the time hope brings you down.

My point is, I just want to see my dad, slap him hard and then hug him
like there’s no tomorrow.
Tell him all my stories, share him my problems and
seek for advice. But all I can do is dreaming and until that day comes, I gotta
wake up and pay attention if I wanna go somewhere and be somebody. I wanna make
him proud when he sees his son has become someone, probably better than him.
Well dad, Happy Father’s Day!




38 Responses to “Daddy, Where Art Thou?”


  1. 1    ツ李家小妹ツ June 19, 2008 at 10:13 pm

    ur post makes my heart ache. But i admire you for your strength. Be strong in order to survive.. We have something in common, I have no father too..

  2. 2    tUtAymania_ June 20, 2008 at 12:16 am

    ..it’s really hard to live without a father..i know ‘coz as early as 2 yrs old,i lost my dad..hope we find happiness…it mkes me cry wenever i see a girl wid her dad..it always made wonder hw it felt lyk..to be carried in his shoulders..to be hugged by hm or to simply say i love u dad..

  3. 3    rony_x June 20, 2008 at 2:04 am

    aku pingin bebas

  4. 4    BhAbEsLiBerTy June 20, 2008 at 6:00 am

    Gosh! this blogs makes me cry…we’re in common dude..my dad ab0ndon us when i was 3yrs old…yeah,ur ryt,like u i want to slap my father’s face and let him know he’s n0t worth to be a father…

  5. 5    Juan June 20, 2008 at 6:59 am

    Whoever and wherever your father is, he should be proud to see you standing tall now and becoming a strong, handsome man. It is hard not knowing who your parents are, but I’m sure, you got so many loving and caring people around you…
    ***warm hugs***

  6. 6    marymargaret June 20, 2008 at 5:36 pm

    Oh no! what a nice blog…i was really so touched and you made me cry…Wow! I couldnt imagine things starting from day 1 up to now to your life? I believe its too painful hanging around no one cares. I admire you, you are so strong…i just pray for you that one day who will met. Keep the love and respect burning in you though it brought you some pain. God really knows whats best for YOU. goodluck !

  7. 7    bRiAn NiLs June 21, 2008 at 5:14 am

    I’ve gone through the same thing….I know how you feels…

  8. 8    si CutTteX June 21, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    I know it too hard to you,.but you must try rigid..
    Good blesS yOu..

  9. 9    si CutTteX June 21, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    I know it too hard to you,.but you must try rigid..
    Good blesS yOu..

  10. 10    si CutTteX June 21, 2008 at 10:56 pm

    I know it too hard to you,.but you must try rigid..
    Good blesS yOu..

  11. 11    Daniel June 22, 2008 at 12:47 am

    God bless u………

  12. 12    rosie June 22, 2008 at 6:43 am

    Someday u ll become a father too, hope u be better then him…be strong its the real…God blezz u

  13. 13    jeannette June 22, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    yeah,its hard growing up without a father..someday..wen u become one,i think u’ll be better than him..be strong..god bless!

  14. 14    Bitterness June 22, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    It ain’t the same,but you know I love you,right ?. Always will.

    * hugs *

  15. 15    lEnlyn June 23, 2008 at 3:42 am

    oh!its so touching! just keep on praying n believng God.God loves u so much always remember that, ok? God bless u.

  16. 16    melanie June 23, 2008 at 9:21 am

    yeah it’s so dificult living w/o a father, am thingking for my daughter, his father left when i was 2months pregnant and nver comeback..
    juz b strong god always w/u.

  17. 17    Mike June 24, 2008 at 7:52 am

    I suppose those who felt for you were mostly in common with your
    experience. But I do too even if I’m with my father, because I DO love my dad… your post just made me realize some of what realities are outside my small world…

  18. 18    Mike June 24, 2008 at 7:53 am

    I suppose those who felt for you were mostly in common with your
    experience. But I do too even if I’m with my father, because I DO love my dad… your post just made me realize some of what realities are outside my small world…

  19. 19    cherrymae June 24, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    oh……………how bad the world? u know friend there are a lot of us who hav d same situation with u…………all i want to say is b a man,and stand for your own feet.God bless you.

  20. 20    DyOzAh..... June 24, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    Reading this made me sad though I know my father but I never felt that he is just around! It feels likes our situations has no difference. He has always been busy with his work and his owns goals that he forgot all along that he has a family! Hey he also abandoned us already just a year ago. Well. I always felt that he abandoned his family ever since!

  21. 21    ROQUE June 25, 2008 at 1:33 am

    get me a good picture

  22. 22    RianTy_CuTerzZ June 25, 2008 at 5:54 am

    i just want to say that there is a Father in heaven, He always care to you and never leave you alone..trust me..
    God bLezz..

  23. 23    Jan Michael June 25, 2008 at 11:49 am

    you know what, i crave that my dad and i would share stories of our favorite basketball teams or play tennis or basketball or watch movies along with my mom and my siblings, catch fish together at our pond or simply spend some good simple quality time with each other. the thing is, hes alive, lives, sleeps and eat at our house but i rarely even get to see him, after i wake up in the morning hes already gone, i wait for him to arrive but i fall asleep just waiting and when he doesnt have work in the office, his out with his friends and comrades or his with his fellow knights. last father’s day, well we celebrated it, i even greeted him, but deep inside me, i want to hit him and make him realize that father’s day celebrations for me is and has always been an empty celebration. i know. i know, i should be thankful that i have my father beside me, alive and kicking but i do hope he’d start working out on his relationship to me as his son. thats a whole lot better than him providing with the best things in the world, because at the end of the day, its his love and attention that i seek the most. someday, ill become a dad myself, and my children will also be celebrating father’s day for me, and i hope my children’s life wont be as empty as mine, id like to make them feel what i never felt from my dad, ill try and be a good provider, yet ill be providing them with the most important thing that children need from their parents - love

  24. 24    LuCkY tWiZt" June 25, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    ur being such that real psychoanalytic my friend but ur profile doesn’t fit ur identity..hehehehe just a comment,,peace

  25. 25    Maria Aileen June 26, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Hang on to your dreams and believe that everything happen coz of a reason and by the end of the day it’s only for a “good reason”. Although, I don’t know you personally, I could say that you are a nice guy base on your blog; it shows your inner self. Good luck!

  26. 26    leonora June 26, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    God our father in heaven watches you and carry you wherever you go.we have so many spritual fathers mothers aside from our biological parents.Our loyal aunts,uncles,relatives,friends,mama,are always there wd us.i love you!!i understand you.keep moving,keep smiling,keep dreaming,in God’s perfect timing and manner your dreams will come true,those dreams that will make you closer to GOd. from angel UNI DOMPOR

  27. 27    Jhanysse June 27, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    being fatherless myself also, i have learned a lot of things about life that i believe i would not if i have a father beside me…God always have a reason for everything and as i hope to see and realize someday the exact reason why He let me lost my dad, i pray that you would also. By then am sure we’ll be more thankful that we have lost them, our fathers. God bless you.

  28. 28    raniel June 28, 2008 at 1:13 am

    pic poh?

  29. 29    r i s m a July 1, 2008 at 5:04 am

    be strong my dear…
    God bless ya… ^_^

  30. 30    tri July 1, 2008 at 10:10 am

    kok???
    sedih gitu c???

  31. 31    Tale July 1, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    No, imagine ur dad’s something worse than ur imaginations above.

    There are daddies who are rapers to daughters, gamblers, drug addicts, jerks, unemployed sloths, violence makers, criminals..Imagine ur daddy were one of those then u’ll be grateful with what u have now. ;) Life is tough and u are too.

    From someone who has lost her daddy too.

  32. 32    SON of EMERy July 2, 2008 at 12:40 am

    …we have the same fate’
    …but i lost my courage’
    …yet i am badly trying here so hard to overcome my father’s underestimations of me’
    …well’
    …very well’
    …i am so glad to your never giving up character’
    …your doing very well’
    …so keep it up’
    …and more power as God blessed you with His care’

  33. 33    e r i k o July 2, 2008 at 1:27 am

    It was a nice blog, very touching.. like you, we have something in common.. I grew up with no father, you see you’re not alone. It may be hard to accept,but I believe God has reasons for everything.I hope you never stop loving especially to those that brought you pain.. you are strong and i admire you..keep moving on.. god loves you very much..

  34. 34    maCeL July 2, 2008 at 6:14 am

    whtaever they say he is still your father..keep your heart awy from aches..i experienced that too..

  35. 35    LOvELeSs'.. July 2, 2008 at 8:46 am

    .,.,dont wOri 8z juzt trial on our lives..
    bliv in god..
    god bles..

  36. 36    Eli July 3, 2008 at 9:00 am

    we have this the same issues- I’m just glad that I’m not “alone” having the same issues- a fact that this is normal-but very aching- i hate those words like i miss you or anything emotional cause its really hard to handle. many moe to say but this would be enough for now

  37. 37    josephine July 11, 2008 at 12:20 am

    huhuhu…u make me cry..be strong!

  38. 38    prinsipe deso July 21, 2008 at 2:08 am

    my heart goes with you…

    God bless you buddy!!!

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